Can a Vision Really Make You Happier?
I’m biased, that’s why I am writing this article. For me, creating a vision for my life and taking steps to make it a reality has had a tremendous impact on my life. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all peachy or La Vie En Rose all the time now. The main difference is: I don’t shy away from difficult moments (as much) as before, they are more easily endured and sometimes can be quite enjoyable. Let’s face it life isn’t always fun or easy. Half the time, and probably more than half the time, it is hard, challenging and downright painful.
I tried on multiple occasions to create a vision for my life but often failed. Like a lot of young people I just kind of drifted along and went with the flow.
But one day, I had a eureka moment through self-searching, reading, and listening to various podcasts. This is it…
What if there was a way to make that half of your life more meaningful, more fulfilling, more enjoyable? (the half that usually sucks). The idea is that if, no matter what you do, you cannot escape the bullshit, the tough parts, is there a way to make that pain, that struggle meaningful and even, I know this sounds crazy, enjoyable?
Now don’t take my word for it, I am a big believer in testing things out for yourself. In this article, I am going to share with you what I mean by having a vision for your life, why you should have one (current state of affairs), why creating a vision that sticks is so darn hard, my process for creating a vision and finally, will a vision make your life easier? I hope you enjoy what I have to say on the subject matter and that you gain some insights from this. Right now times are more challenging than ever for just about all of us. On the plus side, we have more time to reflect and think about our lives now more than ever. I hope you choose to make the best of this time. Let’s get started, shall we?
What Do I Mean by Vision?
Let’s start with the oxford definition:
The first definition although valid is not what I mean today. The second one is much closer to what I mean. If you pay attention to the “similar” words, there is one word in particular that I want you to focus on: “imagination”. A vision is really a product of your imagination. You can call it a dream if you want. Historically some have called it a prophecy, a sort of divine message of future things to come. What if you could be that deity, that god, having the power to not only imagine but actively create your future? Take a moment to let that sink in? That’s right I just said that you have the strength to play god (with your own life, no one else’s).
Why Imagine Your Future?
Some of you might think, yeah I can dream and imagine, so what. It’s a waste of time, it’s fiction. It’s not real. To those naysayers I say, a vision is an intangible version of reality. Whatever you dream of, you can turn it into a reality, or get real close. Of course, I am not talking about sci-fi, vampires, werewolves and all that jazz. On the topic of sci-fi though, if you look back, no one thought flying machines would exist. No one thought you could be able to communicate instantly to someone on the other side of the planet and that you would have the ability to do so with a device that fits into your pocket. Pretty damn awesome if you ask me. So what does this have to do with having a vision? All those amazing inventions, all those products you love and cherish so much, hell even the ones that are crappy, were all at one point someone’s imagination. They were somebody’s vision.
So What Separates Visions That Come to Life From Ones That Remain Imagination?
The answer, for me, is actually rather simple. Faith! In order for you to be able to translate an idea, a vision, a dream into a concrete reality, you need faith. Why?
If you don’t believe in it, you will do nothing about it. If you do nothing, nothing happens. Pretty simple right. If you believe, you will act. If you act, something happens, and if you keep acting long enough, you will turn that imaginary into reality, or something very close to what you had in mind, sometimes it might turn out even better.
To break it down even more:
Imagination + Inspiration = Desire
Inspiration is a very strong positive emotion that drives you.
Desire + Action = Results
Desire: strong emotion mixed with imagination which is acted upon leads to results. No magic there. When you see results that are tangible, you develop faith, you think: “hey, this might actually work!” This then makes your desire stronger which in turn fuels your action which then adds to your faith.
Results -> faith -> Action
A strong desire leads to action. Think about it, when you are hungry, you have a very strong desire to satisfy that hunger. So you take action and go to McDonald’s or hopefully cook a delicious homemade meal that will satisfy you and energize you. This example doesn’t go into faith and the action part that much but don’t worry. I will expand with more interesting examples.
So to recapitulate I made a nice little graphic for you.
Behold my Darf cycle of Prosperity. To remember, think of Darth Vader, he technically fits the bill. He is in a sense a visionary but probably not one you would like to follow unless you are a psychopath. But that’s a whole different discussion, I’ll let you Star Wars fan handle that one.
So without further ado, check out this bad boy. (yeah i’m proud, I learned how to use canva, a great tool to make graphics, props to them!)
That’s all folks, thanks for stopping by! Just kidding, we are only getting started, so now you have an idea of why a vision can be so powerful. But why did I decide to write this article? Because of how the world is at the moment. It is rough out there right now, there is no denying it, even before the quarantine, life was and is tough, that’s just how it goes. I’m worried that now with this added layer: quarantine, that for a lot of people, this could be the tipping point that drives them over the edge. So what exactly do I mean by the current state of affairs?
What is The Current State of Affairs?
This next part isn’t going to be fun or very uplifting but I think it is necessary. You should be aware of the bad, the negative without letting it affect you negatively, otherwise, how will you be able to act on it?
What I am about to share with you is not to scare you but to inspire you to take action, to become a driving force that can inspire others to take action so that maybe, just maybe, together we can create and share a bit more happiness and positivity into this world.
What’s going on in this graph? Sorry to lay it on you like that but for me, these are some of the worst things that can happen in this life. This graph depicts how many Residents of the United States of America take their own life per 100,000 residents. In other words, in the year 2000, 17.7 men took their lives per 100,000 residents. If you scale that number to the total amount of men living in the USA, that is not a very pleasant thought. The blue column shows women. As you can see, fewer women take their own lives than men.
But what I want you to pay attention to is that the numbers are growing, the data range stops at 2017 but that doesn’t mean that committing suicide has stopped. The trend shows that the numbers are growing which means more people are choosing to take their own lives every year. That sucks.
If you were to turn on the news, you probably wouldn’t see much about suicide, you’d probably hear about the latest homicide. The latest shocking death case. But did you know that Suicide is the USA’s 10th biggest cause of death. Put another way, more people die by taking their own lives than by traffic accidents or homicide. That is just crazy!
In 2017, there were 47,173 reported cases of suicides in the USA. That’s not all, there were 1.4 million attempts.
Now that has a drastic impact on those people’s lives, their family, their friends and more broadly the economy as a whole. These are just the most extreme cases. But there are tons of people in different areas of the spectrum.
Depression and anxiety affect a lot of us if not all of us at some point or other. It used to affect me greatly. I don’t really get depressed anymore, maybe the occasional day but I usually snap out of it quickly. (I did do a fair share of drugs and self-sabotaging before getting to where I am, and thank God I managed to find a way out otherwise who knows I may be a statistic today). Anxiety, yeah I still get some of that, especially during these times in quarantine but I’ve learned to manage it for the most part.
Let me hit you with some crazy facts, just to make sure you are listening intently. (or reading intently, whatever, you get me).
In a paper titled “The Mediating Role of Repetitive Negative Thinking in Relationship Between Negative Perfectionism and Severity of Anxiety Symptoms”, the economic impact of anxiety is explored and it is frightening. “the economic impact of anxiety is staggering (e.g., treatment costs, lost workplace productivity), with costs estimated at over 42 billion dollars per year in the U.S.” The paper is from October 2016 by the way. Pretty recent. If you want to read the whole thing or make sure I am not pulling all these facts out of my ass, check the resources at the bottom of the article. But for now, bare with me.
That’s enough for the current state of affairs, I just wanted to show you that life is tough and for some, it drives them to making very drastic life decisions which I hope none of you ever will be faced with. If you have been paying attention, the next logical question should be, do you really think having a vision can help these people, can it really make their lives better, easier?
Sidebar: If you are, my dear reader, from the USA, please don’t feel like I am picking on you. These issues are global. I chose the US as an example because well, you are a global leader. You guys run the show in a lot of ways, so if you guys can get it right, many more countries will follow suit. That’s just the way the cookie crumbles. So instead of feeling attacked, get inspired, you guys are in a position to make a difference, you can be a leader in this department too and inspire the world to do the same. If you must know, I am half Asian and our suicide rates are through the roof. For once, you’ll be happy to know that the USA is not number 1, in fact it ranks in the 30th region in country ranking with the most suicides. South Korea, on the other hand, is in the top 10. Anyways, I’m going off-topic, you get the point. Back to the main topic!
Can a Vision Make Your Life Easier?
Hell to the no! What now? You just made me read all this shit and life still isn’t going to get any easier. Sorry, buddy, it isn’t. But, don’t leave just yet!
Life will throw you a whole bunch of crap your way, that is a guarantee. As the saying goes only two things are certain death and taxes. I like to add a third: pain! Having a vision will bring meaning to your life which will help lessen the burden during those trying times. What on earth is this guy going on about?
I’m deadly serious, when you have purpose, clarity of vision; things that are tough, challenging, painful aren’t so bad anymore. They don’t bring you down as much, they actually make you stronger.
Having a vision brings meaning to all your suffering. Believe me, we can take so much more than we believe we can, as long as we can attribute meaning to the suffering we experience. When we suffer and we don’t know why it becomes very difficult to bear. If I were to take a guess as to why those people took their own lives, they probably felt powerless over their own struggles.
There are of course plenty of other reasons, bad environments, bad influences, genetics and so on. But I truly believe that having a vision for your life can guard you from the darker corners of your mind and from the huge load of pain and suffering that life will throw your way. I truly believe that pain will become transformative and actually contribute to your happiness and overall feeling of satisfaction.
Let’s give you an example shall we, from none other than the Terminator! He is such a huge inspiration and I just had to put some of his words of wisdom in this article.
“My confidence came from my vision … I am a big believer that if you have a very clear vision of where you want to go, then the rest of it is much easier. Because you always know why you are training five hours a day, you always know why you are pushing and going through the pain barrier, and why you have to eat more, and why you have to struggle more, and why you have to be more disciplined … I felt that I could win it, and that was what I was there for. I wasn’t there to compete. I was there to win.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger
This is an extract from an interview between Tim Ferris and Arnold featured in his book Tools of Titans. During the interview, Tim shows a picture of a 19-year-old Arnold who looks very confident, during a bodybuilding competition. Tim asked why did Arnold look so confident in comparison to the other competitors. Arnold’s answer just above is to me absolutely golden. I love it, I find it super inspirational and I hope you do too.
In the gif above, the second picture is Arnold when he was a kid. As you can see he wasn’t always this beast of a man.
He is so famous now, we often associate him for his movie role in Terminator that we forget that at one point, he was just like us, a small kid with big dreams. His life is truly epic, an Austrian boy from a conservative family that went on to win Bodybuilding competitions multiple years in a row and then went on to become a gigantic Hollywood star.
You can bet his journey wasn’t easy. Ask any bodybuilder if force-feeding yourself and lifting weights that are heavier than their own body weight is any fun. But they do it, they power through the tough times because their vision drives them.
By now, you should feel pumped! You are probably thinking cool, I’m gonna make a vision for my life, and completely transform myself. And to that I say, right on my compadre but before you go, let me give you some tips.
Ever Made a New Years Resolution?
Follow up question: Ever followed through and got the result you were looking for, from that New Year’s resolution?
If you have amazing, if you haven’t, welcome to the club. New Year’s resolutions can be a powerful tool, they are in essence creating a vision that you want to implement throughout the year. I’m not going to drive my point home with statistics, you can do the research yourself. Gym memberships go up during January, people show up for maybe a month and then most of them quit. Whatever the resolution, it doesn’t last very long before people become disillusioned.
Why am I not going to provide you with statistics? Because you can just study yourself, I am sure you can think of times where you were pumped, where you thought I am finally gonna do this or that, make my life better, and then it went to shit.
Hey, I am not criticizing you, it used to be like that for me and it still sometimes is. Because life happens and well, finding a vision that sticks brings up a bunch of challenges.
Why is it so Hard to Create a Vision That Sticks?
Well, because it requires you to know what you want, I mean what you really want. I want a six-pack, really? Do you really want one? Or are you just throwing those words out there?
The issue with figuring out what you want is that you gotta figure out who you are, what really matters to you. And that is challenging. Some might call it wisdom, to know who you are, what you are, and what you are not.
Here is my little gold nugget for you. You’ve read this far, you’ve earned it!
My trick to figuring out a vision for my life that has for the most part worked is:
I define my vision in relation to what I don’t want. What now?
Let me explain. I am pretty sure you have a very clear idea of what you don’t want and what you don’t enjoy.
Let’s look at a familiar situation to drive this point home.
“Hey babe, what do you feel like eating today?”
-“I don’t know.”
“Okay, how about Pizza?”
-“No, we had pizza yesterday.”
“Right, how about sushi.”
-“No, I don’t feel like fish.”
“Okay then, how about Thai food?”
-“No, I’m not a fan of that restaurant we go to.”
“Okay then what do you want to eat?”
-“I don’t know.”
Freaking madness!
My point is this, it’s very hard to know what we want, but we always know what we don’t want.
So what if instead of trying to figure out what we want, we get real clear about what we don’t want. That’s right I am inviting you to complain, to have a real good complaining session, but document it! Record yourself, audio, video, take notes, whatever floats your boat. This is very crucial. That’s right I just gave you an exercise.
As of this writing, I have been sober for 111 days. Now I wasn’t an alcoholic, at least I don’t think I was but I did drink a lot. A fair amount. Much more than you should, and much more than I wanted to. I had tried a few times to sober up and get my drinking under control but it never really took hold.
To be honest, sobriety seemed boring, and what was I going to do, meet my friends at the bar and order orange juice? No thank you.
So What Changed? I Got Really Clear About What I didn’t Want.
Drinking was becoming a problem for various reasons. My girlfriend wasn’t a fan of drunk me, go figure. Also, my bank account really wasn’t a fan of drunk me. My health was also not a fan of drunk me.
So this is what I did, I got clear about everything that bothered me with drinking habits. This is a little snippet of what I came up with.
“I don’t enjoy waking up feeling like a train is running through my mind. I don’t enjoy remembering fuck all from last night. I don’t want to upset my girlfriend and put a strain on our relationship. I really don’t want to keep spending all this money on booze instead of things like vacation, new clothes, or even just the basics like food and rent. I don’t want to become an alcoholic, and I really don’t want a fucked up liver.”
I could go on but that was the gist of it.
Now here is the magic, here is where it all comes together. You take all those I don’t want sentences and change them into something you do want by asking why?
“Why don’t I enjoy waking up feeling like shit? Because it feels bad, because I can’t get anything done, because I feel like I am wasting the whole day, because I cannot take care of my girlfriend.”
Get real detailed as to why, keep asking why until you can’t really go any further. 2-3 levels are usually enough.
Then comes the fun part, flip the script!
So for example, I turned this hate of hangovers into a positive want: “I want to wake up feeling energized, I want to be more productive, to use my time wisely, to have quality time with my girlfriend.”
You get the gist.
But this for me was much more compelling than I want to quit drinking, or I want to be sober, or I want to be healthier or spend less on booze.
They are not compelling because they don’t answer why you want to do it. In essence, there is no emotional impact, it won’t inspire you or drive you.
So that’s the key, have a real complaint about all the things in your life that bother you and then dig deep and figure out why they bother you. And then transform those “problems” into a positive vision for your life. You will realize that a lot of things you think matter to you, really don’t. My hope is that you will create a vision for your life that truly inspires you, that motivates you so that you will act on it, and actually take steps to make it a reality. Even if they are small minuscule steps! Eventually you will build momentum and end up sprinting towards the life you want and deserve and become the person you were meant to be.
There are of course more steps to making a vision a reality, like goal setting, meditation and other tricks. But for now that’s all I’m gonna say. I’ll cover more about implementing a vision in other posts. I sincerely hope you enjoyed what I have to say on the subject.
Love all of you and I really truly hope that you take action, do the exercise! Even if you don’t implement the vision you come up with, knowing yourself a bit better is already worth it in itself.
P.S. This part is dedicated to my wonderful partner, my source of strength in my moments of weakness, my co-hustler, my coach, mentor and best friend. She has had a tremendous impact on me and I would probably not be writing this today if it wasn’t for her.
Want to dig deeper? These resources should get you started!
Stick around for another post!
The graph showing the suicide rates is made using data from this website:
https://www.statista.com/statistics/187478/death-rate-from-suicide-in-the-us-by-gender-since-1950/
Facts about suicide:
(https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics/)
Article on suicide:
Paper on anxiety and it’s impact:
For more quotes from the book Tools of Titans:
https://generalassemb.ly/blog/tim-ferriss-tools-of-titans-book/
